Nebraska Synod ELCA

I vividly remember sitting with my CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) group at St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, IA, being absolutely floored to hear from our supervisor that the greatest gift I could give to the patients to whom I would be ministering would be good listening. I was a young(ish), confident, happy seminarian who thought for certain that the crucial gift God was calling me to offer was to speak words of hope. I learned that summer, and I’m still learning today, that while there is certainly a place for words of hope, those words will land most effectively when they come from someone who has proven first to be a devoted and attentive listener. That same CPE supervisor likened holy listening to journeying into a chasm with the ones to whom we are listening: every sentence is another step into the valley of shadow, and we establish trust by listening more and more deeply, willing to hold off on words of assurance that are often addressing our own discomfort more than that of those who speak to us. 

Studies tell us that many instances of interpersonal conflict can begin to heal as soon as both parties feel that their cares, concerns, and statements have been heard accurately and generously, even if the central issue of the conflict remains unresolved. Deep listening like this tells the people in our lives that they matter, that they, too, bear the image of God within themselves, that we see, recognize, and cherish who they are and how God is blessing the world through them.

Far too often, particularly in difficult situations, we listen with ears that are itching to defend, deny, or retaliate. We listen to protect ourselves. We listen to protect our sense of security. We listen for the snarky rebuttal or the devastating putdown. We listen as something we must do, instead of something we have been blessed to do. How might things change for the better if all of us approached the art of listening as a gift we can give to each other in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ? How might the communities in which we live be inspired if they saw us practicing this art of deep listening with one another? We often talk about how God might change the world through the things we do: is it possible that the world could be changed by God through our attentive, careful, holy, listening?

Listening is a skill at which I have had to work, as a pastor, spouse, father, brother, child, friend, and community member. It has not come easy, and any improvement has also been marked by failures which remind me that listening is a discipline which requires diligent practice. During my first call, a member of the mutual ministry committee told me, “I can see the instant you check out of a conversation, and if I can see it, it’s absolutely certain the people who are talking to you can see it, too.” Those were hard words to hear – thankfully, they were offered as a kind, constructive critique, and for once I was listening well enough to hear them. I invite you to do the same: go and listen this month. Listen to the people around you. Listen to understand, to welcome, to affirm the image of God in your neighbor. Practice the art of holy listening with one another, and see what God can bring about in the world through listening to each other. 

Yours in Christ,

Bishop Scott Johnson